This will be a short post but I have to know if it’s just me.
Do you find it ironic that a epic virus starts in China, in some mysterious lab, spreads worldwide and sickens millions of people yet quickly seems to clear up in China (compared to the rest of the world) then suddenly , the only place that has necessary masks, gloves and protective clothing to sell and ship is China?
Peace out fellow questioners. Signed Slightly.
You’ve probably all thought I was dead, gone or both, but here I am. I have stayed away during this mass hysteria the news media calls a pandemic. I didn’t want my blog to become political, current events etc. and definitely not this crap.
How many times have you heard “I just couldn’t get up today and make myself go to work”? I better not her that shit again after all the people bitching they are stuck at home. Honestly though, I guess it’s more a feeling of being told you can’t, more than it is not actually not being able to.
I will admit when the non-essential shut downs came I thought wow this is a good idea, it should stop the spread. And let’s be honest, maybe it would have but certainly not the way the states have and are handling it. You shut down bars but told restaurants they could still open for food take out. You shut down small local hardware, craft and hobby stores then told Home Depot, Michael’s, etc. they could stay open. You told Wal-Mart, Target and supply stores they could stay open, but every hairdresser in the country to close. You told people you can’t open your small businesses or go to work but you can basically go everywhere else. I didn’t see many staying at home.
How did that make sense? I can’t speak for every state but where I live what I saw was people going everywhere but work. Is McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, etc. really essential? Could people not eat at home? Was Home Depot, Lowe’s, Ace Hardware and others really essential? Maybe for home repair emergencies. People here used the stay at home order to shop, run errands, fix up the house and basically everything but work.
The “phased” reopenings are just as nuts. You can go to the beach with thousands of people. You can go to Wal-mart and Lowe’s with a hundred other people but you can’t get a hair cut. Your wife can’t get her nails done. Stop and think about how that makes sense. Am I supposed to believe that beach or store is more sanitary than my barber shop that holds 3-4 people at a time with more than adequate room to social distance? My barber is trained in sanitizing and cleaning and Joann’s and other chains claim they wipe basket handles. Hmmmm I’d rather trust my barber.
Nascar was told you have to still drive to qualify for the season but there will be no spectators. WWE however got themselves declared an essential business. Churches were told to close till the pastor of one of the richest ones in Florida was arrested for holding services with hundreds of people. 2 days later that governor declared that the churches were essential. Bottom line is you can become essential to the US based on how much money you have and that defeated the entire purpose.
It’s time the government rethink these mindless decisions. We have had plagues, swine flu, epidemics etc. and never have we told people you can’t leave your homes. And you governors telling people they can’t buy guns, get carry permits or ammo are plain idiots. When dishonest people run out of money, theft is the first place they look to get more. Top that off with sheriff offices posting on social media about the crimes they aren’t responding to, and a pandemic is the lest of my worries.
As a population overall, we need to be careful. Don’t go crowded places you don’t have to go. Be trained and prepared to protect yourself and your families. Until people can go back to earning money, this will only get worse.
OPEN AMERICA.
Peace out fellow lockdowners. Signed Slightly.
I know I haven’t posted in a while, but before anyone goes off on their unicorn with some imaginative theory that I’ve died from WuHan cooties, I assure I’ve sent the log in to 2 random readers to post in the event of my demise. This post comes from follower, J. Hot. . . . . . . . .
With all this Covid 19 running rampant throughout the world, I think it’s time we really took a long, hard look at hand sanitizer and all it’s uses. These are some pretty serious cooties going around and we can’t let that ruin our desire for physical contact. In case I was too obtuse, I meant sex, boinking, bumping uglies as Slightly likes to say. We all have that basic need to procreate. Ok I don’t wanna procreate, but I like to practice and we need to be safe so I wanted to send Slightly’s readers some Covid 19 safe sex tips.
I add a disclaimer that you all try these at your own risk, Being in a happy marriage I have not tried these ideas yet. Well, not all of them, and some may be extremely unpleasant or even dangerous.
Hand sanitizing your junk prior to a blow job. Seems extreme so maybe try listerine gargle afterwards if she’s game.
Sanitizing your junk before a hand job. This might be optional based on the circumstances. Would her washing her hands prior be enough? If it’s your own hand wouldn’t you be safe already?
Do you have to use hand sanitizer on her taco? I was trying to find a polite word. Do they have mouth guards with a built in sanitizer?
By the way, those of you that enjoy a good smack on the ass during a brief afternoon delight, add that sanitizer so she don’t have to keep washing that ass.
I hope these tips help to keep you safe during these uncertain times. I doubt social distancing has changed our quirks and hang ups and most might be obvious, but I think obvious flew out the window a couple of months ago.
Peace out Slightly. Signed J. Hot.
Sex as we know it might be slowly becoming a thing of the past with our current world situation. Remember the good old days of wandering into a bar, downing a few shots, ok maybe more than a few, and waking up next to someone trying to remember their name? Mary, Michelle, Michael, hell it started with an M, or at least you think so. That feeling of crap, not this shit again. If you’re thinking no, then bullshit. I am not the only one that has those days.
Doesn’t the new social distancing thing put a whole new spin on sex? How many people that have always wanted to try the S&M thing, but were too embarrassed to say so, can now jump on the band wagon. Can you get a hook up faster if you actually show up prepared?
Dress yourself in those leather pants, leather shirt and leather mask you’ve been hiding in the bottom of the closet. Hell who’s gonna say no to that offer. Tie up your partner and claim it’s just to prevent her from touching you. Grab that whip and claim it’s because you can’t be close enough to touch him. Cover yourself in chocolate, baby oil, hell try chicken feathers if that gets you going. It can now all be explained by social distancing. Hell maybe bondage will become the new norm.
If fact, skip the bar and call your ex or a friend for a late night booty call. Explain you’re not being rude, just keeping in line with the government order on take out and delivery only.
So in closing, get your freak on. Pull out all the stops, or butt plugs, and go for it. Get funky, explore and remember those leather face masks and lysol wipes cause after all, you need to be safe.
Writing for a follower. Thanks J. Hot for an awesome idea of social distancing.
Disclaimer – people and events in this blog are purely fictional. Signed Slightly has never engaged in any of the above activities.
Peace out fellow freaks. Signed Slightly.
Not being used to people actually reading my blog, I was surprised today to find I had 3 emails and that they were actually from 3 different people. Imagine that. I addressed one already and don’t want the other 2 to feel left out in case they check back in, so here goes.
One person asked if a boy grows up to become gay, did the father fail as a man?
Ok people where do you get these questions? Seriously that is nuts. How would a young man’s sexual preference reflect on the type of father he had? Maybe if you have a gay father that is overly flamboyant you might be raised to think that it’s ok for men to act that way, but it won’t change who you feel a desire to sleep with. Your father may be a jock and spend his weekend watching everything from football to golf, it won’t change which sex gives you a hard on.
People are physically and emotionally attracted to the people that are attracted to. If you’re a man and grabbing another guys ass does it for you, that’s no reflection on your mother or father. In all honesty, I was hoping this was a joke question because I can’t imagine anyone thinking it meant someone failed as a father or a man.
If your father was there and provided for you financially, physically and emotionally, he was an excellent example of what a man is and should be. Regardless of what you think about same sex relationships, it’s not up to you to judge. Let people live the way they want and God will sort it all out in the end.
Peace out gay friends. Signed Slightly.
Well my email flashed yesterday and I had a question from someone that apparently reads my blog. Glad to know it’s not just me. Again I’m not sure it’s a question that will be answered the way they expect, but you read the name of my blog and still asked. So there you have it.
A reader wrote in asking an opinion on her home situation. Her 22 year old niece recently left an abusive living situation and she had her move in with her and her husband who is 34. Now she is wondering if she needs to worry about leaving them home together? Here are my thoughts on that.
That you feel the need to ask that is sad, tragic and messed up in so many ways. I’d ask who are you worried about, your niece or your husband but the answer is obviously both. If your niece made a play for him, he can and should, say you’re out of line and we’ll talk to your aunt if the subject comes up again. If he’s making suggestions or moves on her she has that same option so it sounds like your concern is with both of them. One will suggest it and the other will agree to it. Sound about right? If so, you have little faith in your family and spouse.
Well here is a reality check. If your husband would cheat with a 22 year old family member, he will cheat with anyone else if the opportunity arises. Cheaters are cheaters. I know people, especially women, get mad at the other party but the one you need to have an issue with is the one married to you. While that other woman or other man is obviously a worthless shit, they aren’t married to you. They made no commitment of fidelity to you. Your spouse made that commitment and short of being forced into a sexual situation, had the opportunity to simply say no and walk away.
The part you won’t like in my answer is about you. If you are that insecure in your relationship that you are picturing your husband bumping uglies with your niece every time you leave the house, I have 2 suggestions. Counseling or divorce. Find out why that is a concern for you. If nothing else discuss it with your spouse but be prepared to get a backlash that he feels you think so little of him and your niece.
Peace out concerned wife. Signed Slightly.
I find it strange you’d need to tell anyone that pajamas aren’t made for wearing in public but I see it every day. It used to be you’d see someone pop in a store early in the morning and the little kids might still be dressed in pj’s. Understandable as it was usually if mom needed to grab something for morning meals.
Now it seems common to see grown adults wearing pj’s to the store. And no offense, but it’s usually women I see wearing them. Last year China’s government had such an issue they started public shaming of people shopping in pajamas. Can’t say I blame them but after a lot of complaints, they apologized for it. Not me.
Let’s be honest. The only reason is you’re to lazy to get dressed. Does it really take a significant amount of time to pull on a pair of shorts, slacks or even a skirt before you go shopping? Is it really to much work to get dressed in street clothes before leaving home? If the answer is yes, then online shopping is for you.
I haven’t decided if it’s laziness or just plain dumb but it needs to stop. Spend a moment and make your self look presentable. Hell you might end up on that website people of walmart.
Peace out. Signed Slightly.
I try to keep politics and news issues out of my blog but I had to write this one. What is with you people hoarding toilet paper and water? Seriously I want to know.
Yes we have a flu virus going through the country but don’t act like this is anything new. We had bird flu, Sars, N1H1, etc. As sad as it is to say, people die from the flu every year. The flu is passed person to person, every year. In fact, the death rate of this flu is much lower currently than the number of people that die each year from viruses. The only difference between those flu’s and this one, is the media hype. I personally believe that hype is designed to effect the 2020 elections, but that’s another topic I won’t comment on.
But you that are hoarding disinfecting and cleaning products are nuts. However, the ones that top my list are the toilet paper hoarders. What the hell is wrong with you? This flu causes no symptoms that require the need for anything more than your usual amount of toilet paper, to put it nicely. To be blunt, it doesn’t make you shit any more than normal. If you only needed 1 package of toilet paper last month, you will only need 1 package this month, not 25 of them.
Not to mention you’re a complete asshole to hoard an unnecessary item that leaves others unable to buy a common necessity. No one wants to wipe themselves on towels them have to wash them all. No one wants to beg toilet paper from family and friends.
Use some common sense and save some for everyone. The companies are making more every day and we are not facing a national crisis because it’s no longer being made, but only because of assholes hoarding it. I would suggest a bidet but those prices went from $29.99 to $124 last week.
I hate people and companies that take advantage of people in panic situations. Try and be kind. Share if you have extra and know people that can’t afford to stock up in advance. Manufacturers aren’t closing and there is no reason to be hoarding anything. I blame the stores as well as they let people return all these after the situation resolves so they get their money back.
Peace out fellow toilet paper users. Signed Slightly.
PS – Please report price gouging to your local law enforcement and Amazon. Federal guidelines are in place to punish those people and Amazon is removing their listings immediately.
Didn’t forget you. I’m just mulling around the answer on how you discover new and amazing talents you didn’t know you had. Keep watching for that blog once I get it done.
Signed Slightly
I hope I’m not the only one that hates the word but. Ever stop and really think about the use of the word each time you use it?
She’s pretty but. I got you this but. And the famous , I love you but.
Few people stop and think before using that word. Do you ever realize that when you say but, it negates every word that came before it? It’s not just one of those casual 3 letter words that we use to fill up a sentence. It changes the entire aspect of the phrase or conversation.
She’s pretty but. But what? She’s pretty but she’s a jerk? She’s pretty but she’s a drama queen?
I love you but. Hmm that one is really open. I love you but I banged you sister/brother? I love you but I want a divorce? I love you but . . .. (fill in the blank).
But leaves too many options so next time you start to say it, just skip what came before it and instead of I love you but you’re an ass, just say, you’re an ass. I love you doesn’t soften the blow.
Peace out. Signed Slightly
Inner Thoughts of a Self Diagnosed Slightly Sociopathic Mind 